


The Heart Hears Differently

by sammys_grl



Category: CW Network RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-20
Updated: 2013-10-20
Packaged: 2017-12-29 20:04:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1009507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sammys_grl/pseuds/sammys_grl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen improves his communication skills.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Heart Hears Differently

Jensen walks in just as something shatters in the kitchen.

“Jared!” he calls out as he drops his things on the floor and quickly heads that way to be sure everything is okay.

He finds Jared leaning against the counter holding his cell phone in one hand staring at what remains of the cup he’d been holding against the far wall.

Instantly he knows what’s wrong, and he moves to the counter taking the cell phone and pulling Jared into an embrace he hopes will convey everything he feels since no amount of words is going to make this better. They’ve been locked in a battle of want versus need for months and it is taking a toll on both of them. They want to be open and tell the world they are in love, but everyone knows they need to keep quiet with the show going stronger than ever and another season looming on the horizon.

“What do they want now?” Jensen asks quietly, still holding Jared close.

No matter how hard this is for him, he knows it is harder for Jared. He feels everything so deeply; sometimes it appears that Jared has no safety walls to insulate himself from these things.

“Fucking promo party,” Jared mutters, still shaking. “They want us to go in separate cars and to be sure that you have Danni draped on your arm.”

“It’ll be okay, Jay.” Jensen half believes it and half knows it is a lie. “It’s only a few hours.” He feels Jared sigh and pull away slightly, the resignation reading in his body despite his best attempt at hiding it.

“I just hate it and them for forcing it down our throat every fucking day”

“They just have our best interests at heart.” Jensen again hates the words as he speaks them.

“Yeah, like they know what’s in our best interests? What if ‘my best interest’ is to say fuck it all and tell the world how much I love you? Propose to you on the top of the most romantic place I can find…huh Jensen, what if that’s really what’s in my best interest…who the hell cares about that?” Jared’s words are a bit harsher than he intends, but he’s been feeling this way for a while now, and sometimes the feeling is so strong and overwhelming he just breaks.

“You know I care, more than anything, but you can’t toss your career away. It’s everyth.…” Jensen stops, the rest of what he is going to say dying instantly at the realization he’s chosen the wrong word as he sees the flash of hurt and anger pass through Jared eyes.

With a small nod, Jared says, “Yeah, I guess it is….” and turns to clean up the mess he’s made. Not giving Jensen a chance to correct himself, he adds, “There are a few scripts that they delivered for you in the den, one looks pretty awesome and I think they really want you for the lead.” Jared dumps the shattered cup into the trash, eyes anywhere but on Jensen as he pulls himself back from being angry to being resigned adding, “You should go read it over… I’m just gonna clean this up, then walk the dogs”

“The script can wait, I’ll come with....” Jensen offers, hoping to say something to make this better, knowing though, that nothing he says will. Words haven’t made this situation better in all the months that have passed and Jensen knows it’s not likely to magically change today.

“Nah, you need to do that stuff,” Jared says as he turns, smiling softly at Jensen. “I know it’s not forever and I’d never do anything that would hurt you or your career, but it’s just too much sometimes. I’ll be fine; I know I’m just being stupid about this.” Jared trivializes and Jensen has nothing to offer but a hug and then he leaves Jared to it. Jared hears him move to the den and sit heavily in his leather chair. The chair they had picked out what seems like a lifetime ago before everything they did became something to scrutinize and worry over. He stays on that memory for a while and although he knows Jensen loves him deeply, will never leave him, and that he is doing the best he can, his heart clenches nonetheless.

Evening comes and anyone looking in would think everything was fine. They’d see any other couple making dinner, enjoying each other’s company, and living life. That would be the picture, but only a few people close enough would see what is really there. The emotions swirling like wind, one minute hot and fiery, threatening to suck the oxygen out of the room, the next cold and blustery like a Nor’easter whipping through and burying them under the weight of the storm.

Things are quiet as they head to bed, both of them tired and content to snuggle into each other and maybe find some peace. Jensen wakes a few hours later and watches Jared, and even in sleep, Jensen knows his idiosyncrasies and he knows Jared’s not finding peace there either. Jared sleeps what he feels… a carefree Jared sprawls across the bed taking up every available space there is and then some, encroaching and claiming all that is Jensen’s till no one would know where one starts and the other stops. A troubled Jared is the opposite, his body doing what he just can’t when he’s awake: curling into itself for protection against the world. Jensen watches him tonight, knowing he should be the one protecting Jared just as Jared has done all these years for him, and even though he knows he is, he isn’t either.

When Steve rolls into town a few days later, he wants to have drinks and celebrate whatever there is to celebrate and Jensen immediately agrees. They love Steve and they have a long history of friendship and he hopes it will help to get past this bump if they go out, drink, and have fun. No one is usually suspicious of them hanging with Steve since it’s just guys drinking and blowing off steam.

He’s caught off guard when Jared declines, choosing to stay home and study his lines. Jensen tries, but no amount of cajoling convinces Jared, so with a kiss and a soft goodbye, Jensen heads to the bar, feeling oddly bereft.

Steve finds him shortly after he gets there and greets him with a huge hug and a slap on the back, then takes a seat across from him, assuming Jared is around someplace and will be sitting next to Jensen.

“Hey man, damn it’s good to see you,” Steve says as he looks around the place adding, “Where’s your boy? Damn kid’s too tall to be hiding.”

“Not here,” Jensen offers with a sigh “he’s got some heavy scenes coming up so he wanted…” Jensen stops when he sees the look on Steve’s face, knowing he’s not buying the crap, so he just goes with the truth. “Shit, he’s having a hard time right now, all this crap from our people and the network about us and what we need. It’s fucked.”

“Yeah, it is…” Steve starts slowly. “But it’s always been like this, what’s changed?”

“Season six I guess. Before, it was like there was a light at the end of it, ya know? A point he could focus on when we could be public, but now that’s gone and there’s even more pressure to keep things out of the public eye. Hell, now we can’t even go to promo functions in the same car. I just don’t know how to make it better anymore.”

Steve smiles and thinks carefully about what he’s going to say. He’s known Jensen a very long time and loves him more than Jensen will ever know. They’d been close to making it work once, but Steve was in Jensen’s shoes and never did make that leap of faith and go all in. He’d taken the path that lead him to a point in life that has given him success in his career, but left him without the person he’d wanted to come home to every night. Knowing this, he can’t allow Jensen to make that mistake with Jared, so he moves over next to him and quietly says, “You know what to do, you’re just scared to do it.”

Looking slightly affronted, Jensen sputters, “I ain’t afraid of shit when it comes to Jared!”

“Really? Then why is it you won’t stand up? What is it Jensen?” Steve keeps looking straight at him, eyes locked, giving him no place to hide.

Jensen sits there long enough not saying anything that Steve thinks he royally screwed this whole thing when suddenly Jensen says, “It’s just that this industry chews people up and spits them out and Jared has to care about that. If we do this now, we may never get back.”

“Jensen, you’re brilliant and yet so damn foolish sometimes. Tell me what Jared said.”

“That he wants to be open about this, that he’d find the most romantic place in the world and propose to me if he could. That that’s what’s best for him, and he’s pissed as Hell that he can’t.”

“Uh huh…so he wants to do that, but he’s not, is he? Is he pressuring you to do anything? He’s angry and frustrated Jen, and knows it’s not possible and yet he’s willing to do it, really willing. You say he needs to care about that. I’ve talked to him and he does, but he cares about you more. He’d sacrifice it all, he wants you to know he’s committed to you now and forever and everything else be damned. Maybe, that’s what he wants from you?”

“He knows that Steve, I tell him every fucking day!” Jensen says angrily. “How can you say he doesn’t know that?”

“Of course he knows it, but man, the heart doesn’t listen to what the head fucking knows. It has a mind all its own and plays by different rules. Jared’s heart needs you to be willing to screw it all and flip burgers if it came to that. It needs showing. Would you do that Jensen, screw the careers for him?”

Again Jensen sits there turning his friend’s words around, finally accepting that he’s right.

“Yes.”

“Then figure out a way to show him that, stop telling him it’s okay and that someday will come when you can do it, stop sounding like one of his people and be the man he loves. Make his heart know you’d do it today.”

Jensen works Steve’s words around in his head all the next day and comes to the conclusion that Steve is a genius and he is indeed a fool who’s been too blind to see what was right there and when he gets home two nights later he’s ready to change that. It’s early by their standards, but the house is dark as he enters and he figures Jared to be sleeping. He quietly heads upstairs to their room, his eyes instantly seeking out the form that should be on the bed, but instead he sees the empty space and for a moment his heart beats faster as the briefest of thoughts enters his head that he’s alone.

Spotting Sadie curled up by the balcony door, he relaxes, realizing Jared is outside. He toes his shoes off and takes a moment to calm himself, then pads over to the door smiling, as he spots him lying on a blanket, sleeping. The moon is overhead and everything is bathed in its pale glow as he heads out. He stretches out beside his love and pulls him close, smiling at how easily they fit together and he sets about waking him. Taking his time, he slowly and sensually brushes his fingers against Jared’s cheek and softly nuzzles into him, inhaling and loving the feel of his skin and the scent that is Jared.

“Jay . . .” he whispers as he kisses Jared’s forehead and brushes the hair from his eyes. “Wake up.”

Jensen suddenly can’t resist kissing his beautiful lips, all warm, soft, and peaceful from sleep and leans in to do just that.

Finally, Jensen feels Jared stir beside him, consciousness tiptoeing up on silent feet. Jared sighs, kissing Jensen back slowly, then nuzzles deeper into him, trying to cuddle. Jensen lets him, enjoying the gentle sounds Jared is making and how relaxed he is in Jensen’s arms.

“Wake up,” Jensen whispers again, and tired eyes open and focus on him and Jensen runs his hand through Jared’s hair, kissing his forehead gently.

“Hey,” Jensen whispers into the night air and Jared smiles softly back.

“Hey,” is whispered back as Jared nuzzles into his neck and adds “I hate sleeping in there without you.”

Jensen has no idea why he’s nervous, but he thinks it has something to do with his own heart not listening and while he has no doubt about what he’s about to do, his heart is beating like it wants to jump out of his chest. He just starts talking softly, ignoring it. “Jay, I know I’ve been going about this wrong, that I’ve been telling you what I thought you needed me to say, but you don’t need me to tell you that it’s all okay and what not to do. You never needed that from me and it’s about time I just simply did what’s right for you...for us. I’m sorry it took me so long to figure out that you don’t need for us to show the world, you just needed me to be here and listen.”

Jared is staring at him now, eyes wide and slightly confused as he pulls the small box from his pocket and opens it for Jared to see inside.

Jared sits up, silently looking at the two rings and two chains, matching in every way, gleaming under the moon. Looking up, Jensen quietly says, “Marry me,” and slips one out of the holder and holds it for Jared to take.

Grasping it tightly, Jared lets the moment wash over him, then whispers ‘yes’ as he slips the ring on and takes its twin out of the box for Jensen to put on.

Jared runs his hand along the links in the chains, puzzling out that they are for when they film to keep the rings close, but not visible as Jensen slips his ring on and gently frames Jared’s face with his palms to look into his eyes and say, “This is it for me, Jay, never gonna be anything else that matters more than you and the network can just deal with that. These only come off for filming, and fuck all if I care what they say.”

Jared thinks that’s the most romantic thing he’s every heard and captures Jensen’s lips in a kiss that starts slow and tender, but quickly moves to one that is heated and passionate, so needy to reconnect and so full of desire that Jensen feels it in his soul.

Jensen pushes Jared to lie flat on the balcony and whispers, “Jared,” as his tongue slides around and into his ear, eliciting a groan from deep within Jared’s throat. “Want you so much.”

“Want you too,” Jared moans as his lips find their home on Jensen’s and he pulls him so close that it is like he has a second skin. They kiss hard and long, as tongues seek out the essence of their mate.

“Jared….” Jensen moans as Jared’s tongue traces its way around his lips and maps a path down to his collarbone. Jared sucks the skin at the base of Jensen’s neck, marking what is his. Jensen continues to moan at the feel of Jared’s mouth and tongue nibbling on his sensitive flesh.

“God, Jared.”

“What Jensen, tell me,” Jared whispers, momentarily breaking contact with the tanned skin beneath his lips.

“Want you, me in you, on you, you just _you_ … ” Jensen breathes hotly into Jared’s ear as they maneuver around, and within moments both are naked and Jensen has moved to straddle Jared.

Jared looks at him with an expression that can only be described as reverent and he reaches out to stroke Jensen’s face lightly, running his fingers over his cheekbone, and then rubbing over his bottom lip. His fingers continue a sensual slide down Jensen’s jaw stopping to stroke the side of his neck, making him quiver. The touch is intimate, seductive, and deliberate. Jared cups the back of Jensen’s head and kisses him again; this time their kiss is gentler, less frantic and Jensen shifts his head to bite down on Jared’s bottom lip, sucking at the delicate skin. He can feel the passion in Jared’s body.

Jensen moves, shifting slightly to get a thigh between Jared’s legs. One hand tangles into his silky hair, the other inching between them, pressing down with the heel of his hand as he presses up with his thigh. The jerk of Jared’s hips is immediate and he arches into that wonderful feeling. Tugging Jared’s head back further, Jensen licks and sucks at that spot, the spot right at the base of Jared’s ear, and the groan Jared makes sounds like he is coming right now and does all sorts of amazing things to Jensen.

Jared slips his hands along Jensen’s sides and sighs as he takes in the sight of the man he loves hovering above him. Hands roam and trace warm patterns across hot skin as fingers explore each muscle and curve of tanned flesh until they are both panting and moaning and lost in each other.

Jensen’s fingers tease at his cock, lightly swirling around the tip, spreading the fluid, and stroking along the vein. Jared inhales sharply at the touch. He’s already rock hard and those delicate touches and Jensen’s thumb right there have him moaning nonsense. Jared is so close to the edge and Jensen knows it; he will always know by the way Jared’s breath hitches in his throat, the low keening sound he makes just before he comes, and since he wants this to last awhile, he backs off for a moment, letting Jared calm a bit and regaining some control of himself as well.

“Jesus Jensen, please,” Jared whimpers, so lost in the feelings racing through his body that he’s caught by surprise when Jensen pulls back and releases his cock from his fingers. Jared reaches up and pulls Jensen down, his weight feeling perfect on top of him. It feels decadent and breathtaking to press up against him, to feel the heat of his skin, to smell his scent. Jared attacks Jensen’s mouth, biting and sucking on his lower lip as their bodies move against each other; Jared’s hands continue roaming over his muscled back and dance over his sides. Dipping his head, Jared bites down on Jensen’s collarbone, eliciting a primal growl from his love. Jared is pushing a serious combination of buttons and Jensen needs to lift up now and come in Jared or stay there and come on him. He pulls away, panting, his pupils blown wide and dark with lust.

“Fuck Jensen,” Jared groans at the loss of contact.

“Want you, need to have you, love you…” Jensen murmurs as he moves lower and ghosts his fingers up Jared’s thighs, fanning his hands over his hips and presses his thumbs into the tender skin where thigh meets hip almost hard enough to bruise. Jensen bends forward again, hot breath drifting over Jared’s cock. Jared holds his breath and almost stops breathing when Jensen’s tongue swirls up his cock, curls obscenely around the head, and twirls back down from tip to root in one, slow lick. When Jensen cups Jared’s balls in one hand, and slides his mouth down his cock, his head moving at the precise rhythm that makes his body writhe in that wonderful _pleaseohthankGodfuckyes_ way, Jared can’t stop his eyes from fluttering closed and his head from dropping back however much he wants to watch.

Jensen can feel Jared twitching and can hear his panting breaths as he lubes his fingers and his cock.

Jared’s legs move up and his knees bend, his body asking for what it needs since his brain has long since lost the ability to do so. Jensen slides his hand down Jared’s length, circles a finger around Jared’s center and pushes in. Jensen strokes a finger in and out, quickly adding a second and brushing across Jared’s prostate, sending his hips off the blanket and Jensen’s name rumbling from his lips as a moan.

The sound of Jared’s voice, so deep, so sensual, is enough to almost send Jensen over the edge and he needs to take Jared now. Removing his fingers, he moves closer and positions the head of his cock, pushes into Jared with one long, steady slide.

The burn of his muscles adjusting to accept Jensen only serves to sharpen the pleasure and Jared moans continually through the motion as Jensen sinks in balls deep. Jared’s moan is deep, drawn from his chest, and Jensen can only echo it as the tight ring of muscle squeezes his cock along his entire length.

Jensen rolls his hips and leans forward, bracing his hands next to Jared’s head, barely letting his chest brush across Jared’s, fingers clutching the blanket. Jared’s hands splay across Jensen’s arms as Jensen lifts his hips, slowly, deliberately, and then lets them drop back down, just a fraction quicker.

The noise that Jared makes is indescribable, but Jensen desperately wants to hear it again and he strokes out and in, rubbing that spot and pulls a gasp and another beautiful moan from Jared.

“Jesus Jared, so tight…. so hot,” Jensen growls, as he moves and quickly establishes a rhythm. He feels Jared shift, gaining enough leverage to match his movements. The pleasure is the perfect combination of harsh and rough, soft and sweet and Jensen loves it, loves every moment, second, minute of it. Loves the way Jared moves under him, the way he arches his neck back, and especially the way he makes those damned broken, mewling sounds that drive him wild.

One of Jensen’s hands uncurls from the blanket and curls instead around Jared’s cock and Jensen strokes him just right, just the way he likes, fast, firm strokes, fingers sliding over the head with every upstroke, twisting his wrist on every down stroke.

Jared’s fingers are leaving bruises on Jensen, but Jensen doesn’t care, anymore than Jared cares about the fact that Jensen has left bite marks along his collarbone; it just adds to their pleasure.

The whimpers from Jared as Jensen pushes him to his climax push Jensen towards that exquisite edge simultaneously. Jensen is so fucking close and it’s all so damned good he’s barely even aware of his own name.

Jensen thrusts in hard and fast, slamming into Jared’s overworked prostate every fucking time as his mind surrenders control to his body. Every muscle in Jared’s body tenses as he comes, hot and fast, pumping into and over Jensen’s hand. All Jensen remembers after that is the way Jared’s muscles tighten on him, exquisite pressure on his cock, pleasure rippling over him as spasm after spasm rolls through Jared’s body and over his cock. His orgasm hits as his balls tighten and pull up and all he can do is drive home again and again, pumping his fluid deep into Jared. He is completely spent as his arms give way and he collapses. Looking deep into those beautiful pools of color, lids heavy with the need to sleep, Jensen sees the only home he will ever need. He moves to shift off, but Jared’s arms hold him still and he whispers something Jensen doesn’t really hear, but understands nonetheless.

The moon has yielded the sky and the sun is just beginning to crest the horizon before either of them move. Jensen slowly becomes aware of the fact that he is still held tightly by Jared and Jared is still beneath him breathing soft and gentle. He opens his eyes and knows now that all either of them need is to speak with their hearts and everything else will follow.


End file.
